As Indian women (or is it women in general?), we’ve been taught that taking care of others’ feelings is our job. This includes listening to unwanted advice, shape-shifting our own behavior to fit other people’s beliefs, and complying with norms so we don’t offend. But who are we truly responsible for? Only ourselves? Ourselves and a little bit of others? Ourselves and others equally? Others, at the cost of our self? […]
Feeling Deeply, Thinking Clearly
Have you ever thought about people who fall on either side of two extremes – the over-thinkers and over-feelers of the world? And drawn the conclusion that the reason the over-thinkers cannot feel is because they think too much. And the over-feelers cannot think because they feel too much. But is this always true? Are feeling and thoughts as antagonistic to each other as we’ve been taught to believe? […]
Giving Birth
“Nobody objects to a woman being a good writer or sculptor or geneticist if at the same time she manages to be a good wife, good mother, good-looking, good-tempered, well-groomed, and unaggressive.” This quote by Leslie M. McIntyre appears as a sidebar in the pages of Julia Cameron’s wonderful book The Artiste’s Way. […]
Thoughts on Washing Dishes
Moving to a different country and culture puts us in a context and space completely different from all that we’ve known. This shift in perspective gives us a new way of seeing – we can see how our self has been shaped by cultural beliefs. We become aware of the fact that these beliefs are, in fact, not who we are in essence. But if we are not them, then who are we? […]
Anger – A Call to Action
What’s the best use of my time? What do you bring to the table? Is this person saying “we” when they really mean “me”? As a recovering nice girl and people pleaser, these are questions that I have started asking recently. These questions have uncovered a lot of anger. Anger that threatens to consume and spill out, but also anger that prods me into saying No to what I don’t want and helps me align with my values. […]